


Natural vs Artificial Light

by BuzzCat



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Pines Family Bonding, Pre-NWHS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 09:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuzzCat/pseuds/BuzzCat
Summary: Dipper is up late trying to apply logic and math to Gravity Falls's strange properties and Stan is going to make sure this kid sleeps. In other news, Stan has learned to be pretty damn good at math.





	Natural vs Artificial Light

Stan rubbed his eyes, wandering out of his bedroom. It was late, around midnight, and he had had real hopes of being asleep by now. The portal was done; all he had to do was get some toxic waste, but that window of opportunity didn’t open for a few more days. After spending a day trying to keep the kids from getting eaten by the things living in the woods and trying to convince tourists to part with hard-earned money, Stan had hoped he could just sleep.

But no such luck, which left him wandering into the kitchen for a glass of water (he’d have gone for liquor, if the kids hadn’t been there).

Much to his surprise, the kitchen was already occupied.

“…and then if I just…but then…wait…” Dipper sat at the table, chewing on one pen with another tucked behind his ear and a third being twiddled with his fingers. There were visible bags already starting to form under the preteen’s eyes. Stan stopped short,

“Yeesh kid, haven’t you ever tried sleeping?”

Dipper startled and nearly fell out of his chair, looking up at Stan.

“Yeah! I mean, I would be, but I was looking at this crystal Mabel and I found that shrinks and grows stuff and I think it’s based on the exposure to the light and if I can figure out the exact rate of growth with the light, I can use it to—”

“Kid, you’re starting to sound like,” _Ford_ , “a crazy scientist. Go to bed. Get some sleep.”

Dipper rubbed a hand through his hair, ignoring the ink stains on his fingers, “I know, I know, but I can’t sleep until I figure this out. The numbers just keep going in my head and if I can just—”

“Alright fine. Let me take a look.” Stan sat down and pulled Dipper’s notes to him. Dipper opened his mouth and made some kind of inarticulate protest, which Stan paid no mind to. His eyes were scanning the columns of numbers, the notes Dipper had made about changes in growth/shrinking time depending on the direction the object went, the different effect it had on mammals versus reptiles. Really, they were some quite comprehensive notes. Ford would have been impressed. Ford _would_ be impressed. Hell, _Stan_ was impressed.

He looked over the numbers again before tapping at a specific equation,

“You forgot to carry the six and factor for the effects of natural light as opposed to a flashlight,” he said, pushing the paper back to Dipper.

Dipper’s mouth hung open, blinking at Stan for a moment before looking at where Stan had pointed. The pen he’d been twiddling with his hand was suddenly flying across the paper, correcting numbers and answers as Dipper muttered to himself, staring. Stan sat and waited. He'd repaired an interdimensional portal with the capacity to destroy the universe and he hadn't even graduated high school; a little light physics wasn't all that much.

Dipper’s pen stopped moving and he stared at the numbers.

“That’s…that’s it. It makes sense. That’s what it is.” He looked up at Stan, “Hey, um, thanks, Grunkle Stan.”

“No problem.” Stan stood up and pulled a glass from the cupboard before filling it with water.

“How, uh, how’d you know that?” Dipper asked. Stan took a drink, buying time to devise an explanation. It was abundantly clear to the kids and everyone else in town that he was no scientist. Why would it make sense for him to know about the different properties of natural light as opposed to lightbulb-light?

“They don’t call me Mr. Mystery for nothing,” Stan said, shooting Dipper a finger-gun and winking. Alright, not his most air-tight excuse, but it’d have to work. Dipper frowned,

“Grunkle Stan—”

“Well, equation solved, that means you’re off to bed before the bags under your eyes actually become rolling suitcases.” Stan shoved all of Dipper’s notes into a pile and thrust them at the boy, practically pushing him out of the kitchen.

“Grunkle Stan, why won’t—”

“Nope, no more questions. Bedtime.” Even as they approached the stairs, Dipper seemed to be sagging in exhaustion, something for which Stan was exceedingly grateful. It was way easier to lie to a nosy preteen when said preteen was hardly awake.

Stan gently nudged Dipper all the way up the stairs, prodding his elbow when it looked like the boy was contemplating sleeping on the stairs. When they reached the bedroom door, Dipper yawned and turned to Stan, hugging his middle,

“G’night Grunkle Stan,” he muttered sleepily. Stan smiled,

“G’night, nerd.”

Dipper managed to walk to his bed and gently place his notes on the shelf before falling face-first into bed, barely bothering to get under the covers.

Stan shook his head and closed the door, slowly making his way down the stairs.

No doubt about it. Ford was going to love that kid.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written as an answer to a prompt on my 'I'm Live and Accepting Prompts!' story. If you want to send in a prompt, subscribe there and leave me a prompt when they open!
> 
> I'm also on Tumblr! Come hang out at beatrice-babe.tumblr.com


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